What I Noticed So Far

Note: as exercise, I am going to update my blog at least once a day during the holidays. Writing, it seems, has a calming effect on my well-being. I also think that I need to hone my communication and language skills further. I especially enjoy how with each post I arrive at a point of self-realization and what I am comfortable with, not only in terms of discovering myself, but also in content and language use. Besides, I have to admit it's fun.

After last night's post, I decided to read through my blog all over again, and a few things jump out immediately. First of all, when I began writing on this blog I was in a bleak state of mind. I wrote about things as though I needed some sort of intervention to help with my predicaments. I used foul language in some of my posts and some of the metaphor and imagery that I use were... of poor taste to say the least. I had to soldier through a few of the sentences simply because of the choice of words and such. It's like watching an amateur stand-up comedian doing a very raunchy bit in desperation to win over the crowd. 

Do we have a video for that? Of course. Here's Eddie Murphy, just in case anyone needs a visual approximation of what I was trying to convey:

Secondly, I found out that I find it rather easy to talk about something abstract, and it shows in how outlandish my metaphors could be as opposed to citing facts, quotes or statistics. Well, given my choice of topics I do not think the usage of hard data would be necessary. I am still trying to find a comfortable way to write about current issues, and while I do keep myself up-to-date with these things I think I need to be able to regurgitate (poor usage of words yet again) these facts and put a personal touch to them, like an op-ed.

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Speaking of my choice of topics, I have been trying to stay out of anything that is too "heavy" because currently, I do not believe that I can add much insight into what I believe should be left out to those who are much better qualified than I am. Sure, I read a lot about American and local politics, current issues and while I am more well-informed than the average Malaysian (if you get what Eddie Murphy was talking about in the above video, congratulations. You are not an average Malaysian) at the end of the day, I am still a diploma level student. I attend classes and mingle with people four, five years younger than myself. What I say and think do not carry much weight, and probably should not.

Besides, I have to admit, I am still too young to comprehend everything that is happening around me. What I say sometimes might sound like pre-meditated wisdom, but most of the time I just relay what I have seen/ read/ heard from others, people who have experienced these problems themselves. There is a good chance that when people seek advice from me, I end up giving them a bad one.

Strip me off of my perceived logical comprehension and first-world life experiences, the only thing I believe I have any authority to talk about right now is:

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I believe wholeheartedly that life is a constant learning process. Sometimes you do things right, and by a stroke of luck you get yourself rewarded. Other times you fall down and fail, even despite your best efforts. My writing skills are still rather poor, and except for a few times due to extremely lucky breaks or horribly stupid decision-making skills my life is rather uneventful. Not that I want it any other way, though.

Right now, I am trying to learn and pick myself back up again. I believe writing helps. And tonight's realization links back to the topic I chose for my blog: The Atychiphobic Optimist. Atychiphobia is fear of failure, and an optimist sees the glass half-full. 

I am optimistic that everything I have gone through so far will paint a better, beautiful larger picture.